5 posts tagged “rant”
Remember my last experience?
Apparently, I didn't. Well, I did...but maybe it was the influence of the nitewang, my alter-twitter-ego that on occasion, takes over my wit when I'm sleep deprived from working at night.
Anyhoooooo....
It was 2 degrees outside this morning when I left work for home. 2. Two. To. Too.
[those last two don't count as numerical values...just driving a point, jerks.]
I needed to warm up my car, but to sit in the car that cold is nearly scandalous. So, I opted to get something hot to warm my bones, while the internal combustion engine warmed...itself in my car. The only coffee available to me is this "Black Coffee Lounge" that is literally, outside of the parking garage.
I went.
*sigh*
I went in, to find 3 pots of coffee on the counter, ready to delve out what should be delicious bean nectar. Only one struck my eye. The Festivus blend. I kinda chuckled to myself, wondering if the coffee tasted like an aluminum pole.
I said to the gal behind the counter that for some reason, looked as if she was still awake from the last time I saw her a few weeks back [likely due to the excessive drug use that is keeping her awake. Or a superpower. Who the crap knows?], "Say...what is this 'Festivus' blend? Is it like a light roast?"
"Oh no!" she said with some holiday crappy cheer. "It's a regular coffee flavored with..."
[are you even ready for this?]
"...chocolate, peppermint, vanilla, hazelnut, and cinnamon."
I seriously wanted to ask if they always serve hot cups of horse puke, but instead...my holiday cheery rebuttal was "Um...do you have anything...normal?"
I got their regular house dark roast. Not horrible..but I can't imagine the horror that the Festivus would've brought on. It would have been a Festivus miracle if I could've stomached it.
Come to think of it, I should have expressed my feats of strength to the 'coffee girl', but only after I gave an airing of grievances.
Idiots.
I started a new gig this week, and loving every minute of it. The guys 'n gals I work with are a great group, a great team, and a great family of workers. The coolest thing is that my building is located in the midst of culinary nuance. I discovered a coffee bar, nay, a coffee lounge around the block from my cubicle called "Black Coffee." Their schtick is to sell and make everything look and sound 'sexy.'
I visited it yesterday, on my first day, to retrieve a simple cup of coffee. It wasn't bad. I'm not sure where they get their coffee. For all I know, they're getting month-old-beans from a Costco dumpster. Unlike a good coffee shop, they don't advertise where they get their beans. Humiliated? Likely. They served a 'vanilla macadamia nut' flavored drip coffee. The problem with this is, is that coffee beans aren't NATURALLY vanilla nor macadamia nut flavored. They are naturally the flavor of coffee. I didn't get it. I just got their house blend, which was called "Sunrise." My guess, it was their breakfast blend. All in all, it wasn't bad. It did better for me than the burnt Folgers that was in the office [not even going to touch that one...still it's better than the powder mix at my previous occupation].
Day 2: I go back for more coffee...I needed a hit! I even twagged about it [twagged = twitter bragged]. A really really wanted a good hit of espresso. This time, I examine their menu, and discover a honey latte. Once before, a long time back, I had a lattee midly sweetened with honey, and it was clearly one of the best sweet drinks I've had. Couldn't hurt to get it again, right? So naive was I.
I order said drink, then proceed to watch the preparer [the term 'barista' here should be reserved for those that aren't complete idiots that work with an espresso machine] prepare my drink. As I watched him, I noticed that he didn't grind the beans, and tamp the espresso himself. I saw the hopper and the grinder...but he didn't bother with it. I figured it was a backup to their 'other' system, if an 'other' system existed. As it turns out, at some point earlier in the day he already ground the espresso and tamped it, loaded it into the machine, and let it sit until someone ordered a drink. Yes. He did.
I interject his preparation and order my drink with an extra shot...just to see what he did to it as I was really curious at this point. He didn't grind new beans. Ladies and Gentledudes, he poured the espresso shots into my cup, and reused the espresso grinds from the previous shots TO POUR ME AN EXTRA SHOT! Didn't bother tamping new espresso. Didn't bother cleaning the porta-filter [the thingy that hold the grinds for the shot]. I asked, "Do you typically do that?"
"Oh yes," he responds with glee. "We can typically get two or three pulls out of one of these."
I left the establishment. Tasted my cup of puke, and wanted to wretch. I polished off about half of it before I couldn't stomach it anymore. At the time of this publish, it's been 6 hours since said vomit-latte, and my gullet is in serious trouble. They are not getting any more of my support.
So, as of Wednesday at 4:30PM Central Daylight Time, I'll be out of a job. I found out 57 days ago that I was going to be laid off. All I can think of is taking care of my wife and paying our mortgage, and making sure the electricity stays on, and OH! I forgot about the ministry student we're hosting. Turns out he likes to eat. A lot. What 19 year-old male doesn't? No matter, he's an awesome Jesus lovin' kid, and I'm glad to give him a place to eat and sleep.
Grab a 4th cup of coffee, and join me as I escort you through my rant:
I interviewed with a company last week, and it went really well. Things started looking up when they called me back for a second interview...in the same week! Whoa, momma! That second interview went just as well, gettin' me all pumped up for a nearly definite opportunity to work there. Casual environment, excellent pay, decent benefits, better coffee.
Then I received an email this morning from said company stating that they 'although I have much to offer' they can't 'find an ideal match.' Awesome. Almost immediately fears of unpayable bills wander through my head. Discouragement surrounded me like a layer of delicious buttercream frosting.
I'm taken to my sermon notes I took yesterday, which for whatever reason, is a rare thing:
Albeit a challenge, putting my fear to rest can be done. The more I focus on my circumstance, the more fear begins to take over my wit and my decision making, leaving no room for His voice...thus a string of disobedience begins. But then, I begin to ask Him, "Lord? Where are you?""Fears dominate the thoughts of unbelievers"
"Don't put your mind on your circumstances, put your mind on his purpose"
I love Psalm 13 (The Message). He's calling God out on the playing field, gettin' all pumped up:
So...David speaks to where I am right now. I'm tired of waiting, and I'm tired of this trouble I'm hauling around. The boldness that David has is remarkable, and isn't done out of arrogance, but it definitely has a root in frustration and fear because being patient is a virtue that most struggle with...I'd hedge a bet on it. Next he begins to recognize the strength beyond his own:Long enough, God— you've ignored me long enough.
I've looked at the back of your head
long enough. Long enough
I've carried this ton of trouble,
lived with a stomach full of pain.
Long enough my arrogant enemies
have looked down their noses at me.
He's not necessarily looking to be better or in a place of prominence over his enemies...but rather just a load of confidence in not only himself and a powerful confidence that God can give him. What else to do, but sing praises?Take a good look at me, God, my God;
I want to look life in the eye,
So no enemy can get the best of me
or laugh when I fall on my face.
This is where I'm at right now. I want to gripe right now, so bad. And I did. And I have done so...quite a bit actually. But I think my rant is done. I'd only ask that you join up with me to sing some praises because He is going to rescue me. He is always on time with His plan.I've thrown myself headlong into your arms—
I'm celebrating your rescue.
I'm singing at the top of my lungs,
I'm so full of answered prayers.
Warning: This is a rant.
Remember, all rants are opinions, deal with it.
Heroes, season 3... The real Villains are the writers.
When season one came out, I watched it all on DVD in a few days. I was constantly on the edge of my seat, I had a difficult time finding a stopping place, and I talked about it with other fans nonstop. Season 2 came out and I watched it. I can't say that I felt the same about it as I did season 1, but it was still pretty decent. My anticipation, however, for Season 3 was through the roof. I was excited. No more writers strike, a huge fan base and bigger budget, this is going to own. I was sadly mistaken.
I watched the premiere with Nathan and after 2 hours of forced story and horrendous clichés I began to lose hope. I watched the second episode and it was even worse. I reluctantly watched the third episode and was convinced that the new Knight Rider had less cheese in it. More than just forced story and awful clichés, the acting has really taken a dive. I'm sorry, but Claire Bennet with heavy makeup and dark hair doesn't make her evil, just ugly. She's about as frightening as a dirty teddy bear. I lawl'd* at her strapping Peter to a table and making him "pay" for each death in the Texas Sylar-bomb incident, by cutting him with a scalpel. "That's one." (laughably evil look on her face.) "That's two" Give me a break.
What's up with Hiro and Ando? When did Hiro turn into a pud and Ando become noble? Why does Hiro act like a child and hold resentment towards Ando for something he saw for a second, from a distance, in the future? Also, is anyone else sick of the Nikki/Tracy/Other Psychopaths, split personalities, cloned, pointless characters? Its come to the point where as the episodes progress, I progressively hope she dies. In fact, almost every character is beginning to suck. Suresh is a total idiot. When he's not making up bogus theorem's of how to reverse the abilities of a model-esque south american chick, he's injecting himself with the opposite of that and "Mohinderizing" the poor girl. I'm fully convinced that a 6 year old could write a better story line than this.
They should just kill everyone and have Sylar go around being awesome and Noah can be his sidekick or something. Everyone else can explode. Thankfully The Office is still hilarious.
-Shawn
*lawl: Sound out LOL and you get 'lawl'. When I say I lawl'd at something, I mean I laughed out loud.
I like my coffee. Black, strong, murky. Not how I like my women.
I prefer my women like airports…confusing and a lot of baggage.
[haha...just kidding Angie]
ANYHOOOO…….
I really do like coffee. It’s not surprising that MacD’s is jumping on the coffee-shop bandwagon. Making it a one-stop-shop for food and relatively crappy coffee for people that don’t care what their coffee tastes like.
Starbucks, in my opinion, has jumped on the fast-food restaurant bandwagon. Churning people in and out their shops at the push of a button. They used to be careful about it. It’s more careless now..too bad.
Both shops miss the passion and artisan-ship that is all around coffee. Coffee, in my objective opinion, is just as complicated as wine [as long as you’re drinking it without a bunch of crap in it]. People that enjoy coffee from MacD’s or the BigGreen probably drink boxed wine.
[editor’s note: I don’t prefer the BigGreen {the Starbucks}. I will if there is no other coffee shop around. Coffee is a social drink for me. I would rather enjoy a crappy cup with friends than a decent cup alone. I never ‘need’ the coffee. However, I have been known to want a fix because my discriminating palette craves it. Having worked in a shop, I can tell you that NO person NEEDS the coffee. And no, a 20 ounce frozen drink with coffee-flavor doesn’t count as coffee.]
ANYHOOOOOOOO again…..
MacD’s is starting their unsnobbycoffee.com campaign. The people that go to the BigGreen can, and sometimes are, snobs. They aren’t coffee snobs. They’re just snobs. At least they are in my area of the country. So what is the demographic for people that they are trying to pull away from the BigGreen?
I don’t consider myself a snob. People see me order a 3-shot espresso and assume I’m a snob. No, I just prefer the raw and unadulterated taste of the coffee. Periodically, I will add a half of a packet of unrefined raw sugar to it. It helps bring out the natural sweetness of the espresso. Everytime I take a drink of really GREAT espresso, my body shivers. No joke. Don’t get me wrong here, I love other beverages on occasion: Americanos, Lattes [prefer cappuccinos…more foam - less milk], and on stipulated occasions, mochas. But if I’m trying a new shop, I want plain espresso. I like to experience it naked. Exposed. Vulnerable. Ristretto.
[and the people that pronounce it “EXpresso” should be slapped, open palm, across the face].
According to this gal at Slashfood.com, it seems that MacD’s needs to get on the info-train to make it really happen. The following articles are a pretty fun read.
I would encourage you, if you’re in the KC area, to hit up Broadway Cafe. I believe that they have perfected the espresso roast…and you should definitely try it. Order 2 shots of espresso [3 if you’re brave] and give it a whirl. Drink it fast. It’ll be hot, but as it cools it will oxidize, then will begin its descent in to a hellish flavor that would choke a horse. Then order a cup of coffee, a mocha, or an espresso con panna [dollop of sweetened whipped cream on espresso] to finish it off. You don’t have to like it, but you do have to try it. Other local faves are PT’s Coffee and Friendly Bean, in that order.
If you’re in the OKC area, check out Coffee Slingers. These guys make incredible coffee. I think I ordered a total of 10 shots on multiple visits during my last visit to OKC, and plan to do it again when I visit this Winter. Again, just order plain espresso, nothing ‘fancy.’ Just get it raw. You’ll probably hate it, but you’ll be glad you did order it. The other place I’ve been that was also pretty decent is Uncommon Grounds…excellent ristretto.
If you aren’t near any of these places, search the interwebs for local coffee shops. Here’s a good way to profile it: When you enter the store, and it is pretty clean, a TON of pastries in the display case, and everyone looks like they have great hygiene, it’s probably crappy coffee. There needs to be exposed tatoos, piercings that aren’t in ears, and the pastries have to be nearly gone by 10AM [it’s a sign that they are awesome]. Some baristas will have nappy and nasty hair, unshaven [both guys and girls] and weird funky screechy music blasting overhead that has classic jazz or blues interspersed to ‘keep it real.’
If you STILL can’t find a shop, find the BigGreen. You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting one. Order a cup of coffee, 8oz [yes…they have it available] and don’t add cream or sugar to it. Let it penetrate your senses. You might actually enjoy it.
I’m not a snob. Just on the path to being an aficionado.
Oh, and this beverage is hot.
-Andy W
