Born to Rock the Air Guitar
Dan Crane has a stage name, it is Björn Türoque. Yeah, say that out loud, it is THAT stupid. I was on my way to work this morning and heard an interview on NPR via American Public Media and The Story. I was driving so I couldn’t take notes so I began to search for the audio. The Story is nice enough to host the audio and I was nice enough to spend their bandwidth. I’ve done a bit more research than I care to admit and I’m ready to share about this phenom in the Competitive Air Guitar world. It was all in the name of being a good blogger. Right?
The 37 year old Mr. Crane, or I guess Björn Türoque, is the second greatest air guitarist in the world. Yes, there are rankings. It gets even more interesting. Yes, there are groupies. Unbelievable because I was quite the air guitarist through high school and I’m sad to report it got me no play. It might have had the exact opposite effect actually.
I’ve decided to take a few notes out of the almost 13 minute long interview from NPR and another 20 minute interview from The Story (interview starts at the 32 minute mark). The quotes are fantastic and you will be rolling too, I hope. Here goes…
“Well, Björn is all about swagger and kinda playing with the audience, looking them in the eye and saying, hi, I’m here to melt your face I’m here to make sweet love to you with my guitar. And that’s what it is about…”
When asked if there was ever a voice in his head telling him to grow up:
“Umm, usually thats the voice of other people.”
How much of it has to do with the money?
“It may surprise you, that air guitar is not quite the lucrative field that you and your listeners think that it is. It’s definitely not about the money, the things I’ve sacrificed for air guitar, you’d be surprised. But the compensation isn’t financial, it’s emotional and spiritual and sometimes sexual.”
Do you think air guitar is more like dance?
“Well, I think, you know, people on the air guitar circuit might throw beer at me if I said it was a form of dance, which I can handle.”
Why guitar? Why not air piano or air drums?
There are many theories on this, the air guitar is acting as kind of an, um, air phallus in a way. It’s a kind of seizing of masculinity, which doesn’t mean at all that it belongs to men as a sport, but I think there is something obviously phallic about the guitar and clearly more so about the air guitar because it can be as big as you want, I guess.”
Radio Host scores some points here:
When you talk about musicians, poets, painters and writers all of those people are artist who actually do something. They have talent, they make something, and what you are saying is the air guitarist is somehow doing the same sort of thing and that’s the part that old folks like me say, wait a minute, you are just imitating some guy, aren’t you?
Björn’s answer to the stinging question:
Why is dance an art form? You are running around and making some crazy gestures. Why is that art? Same thing for air guitar.
I also play the “there guitar” too. The air guitar and “there guitar” are two different beasts. The air groupies, I can’t even tell you how many more groupies there are for air guitar than for indy rock bands. What are they drawn to? The spandex.
I’m concerned that I’m getting too old for air guitar, you know my body’s not what it was before. And it is a young man’s game, that’s why I retired and moved into this ambassador position.
Check out his book, To Air is Human.
- Rex Barrett
